Patience
by WraithStrike
Summary: A collection of KakuHida oneshots and drabbles that all take place in the same universe.
1. Patience

Hidan's hair looks unnaturally white against his skin. All of Hidan looks unnaturally white against him, Hidan is bright white where he is dark. He's glad the darkness of the room casts shadows over Hidan's skin, the man is almost blinding to look at in direct sunlight. It's true of their personalities too, he knows, although they seem to be absent while Hidan is sleeping and he's only just woken up.

It's raining outside, although it usually is in Amegakure. He's not going to drag Hidan out on a mission today, though, they've already gone on enough bounties and missions to last another three weeks. Not like he'll tell Hidan, but he figures the zealot will at least appreciate one day off. He smiles in his sleep, pressing closer to Kakuzu's extreme heat and snuffling softly. Kakuzu watches him, one hand behind his head, propping himself up while the other is wrapped around his lover.

He examines the way Hidan's hair falls every which way, the way the shadows make him appear more dead than usual, the tight bunches of muscle on his arms and back. With a sigh he turns onto his side, pulling the blankets higher and wrapping his free arm around the zealot. Hidan hums quietly in recognition, although Kakuzu's sure he isn't awake. He ignores the sound, choosing to close his eyes and relax. He might fall asleep again, it's quite early and the rain always makes him drowsy, but that's not a problem today because they aren't going out and there's no expectations they need to meet.

He presses a kiss to Hidan's forehead, taking in his scent. "Mmm... You gonna kiss me... or jus' my forehead?" He opens his eyes, catching Hidan's gaze. His eyes are half-closed and barely focused, it's still going to be awhile before he wakes up fully. He rubs one eye slowly, blinking up at Kakuzu before he yawns and shivers, pushing closer to his significant other.

Kakuzu smirks halfheartedly, tilting his head down to kiss him. Hidan hums, kissing back drowsily and entwining one hand in Kakuzu's hair. He tugs at it gently, pulling Kakuzu closer to him. "Yer hair's... long 's fuck, Kuzu..." he murmurs between kisses. Kakuzu doesn't pay any mind to it, just kissing him again sweetly. He doesn't protest as Hidan pushes his way on top of him, choosing to wrap an arm around the younger man and tugging the blankets back up.

He pushes his tongue into Hidan's mouth and takes his free hand, entwining their fingers. Hidan sighs through his nose, pulling Kakuzu ever closer. His hand slips out of his hair, now just resting on broad shoulders. "Nnn... 're we gonna do this _now_ , Kakuzu?" Kakuzu doesn't answer right away, initiating another kiss, then another, until Hidan isn't of any mind to talk.

When he does reply, his voice is quiet, they're both still half asleep and probably will stay that way even afterwords. "Do you want to?" He presses light kisses along Hidan's jaw, the hand around his waist moving to draw lines up and down his spine. Hidan shivers, but holds still to allow Kakuzu to give him attention.

His thumb rubs light circles on Kakuzu's shoulder, yawning and blinking drearily. "Mmm... yeah..." Kakuzu hums softly, continuing to press light kisses on any skin he can reach. He sucks lightly at a sensitive spot on Hidan's neck, earning the faintest of moans. He pulls Hidan's arm up, kissing down his shoulder and across his skin until he can kiss his knuckles. A soft kiss is pressed to each knuckle, and then to each fingertip. He licks at the skin between Hidan's middle and forefinger, smirking softly at the pale man's shudder.

His hands slide down to stroke down the backs of well-muscled thighs, tracing patterns on sensitive skin and pressing barely-there kisses to Hidan's neck. "Kuzu... don't tease." He hums in response, giving Hidan the kiss he wants and exploring lightly through thin pants. Hidan's arms wrap around his neck in a vice-like grip and his eyes are a different kind of hazy. "You're so mean to me..."

Kakuzu chuckles softly, nipping Hidan's jaw once, almost-playfully. "Shh, Hidan. Morning is a time for everything to be slow. We have all day." He rolls them over, pleased st how receptive Hidan's being. His kisses trail down, moving to Hidan's side and kissing each of his ribs until he's snorting and trying to kick him off.

"Oi, cut it out, bastard! Shit tickles..." But Hidan's arm is looped around his neck, pulling him closer. Kakuzu's tongue trails up, running over each dark kiss on his side. Hidan arches, a moan that sounds almost like a whine escaping his throat. He clutches at Kakuzu's head, pulling him closer. He nearly gasps when Kakuzu nips at his hip, tugging at his hair to bring him into another kiss, this one messier than before. "Dammit, Kakuzu..."

He wants to snicker when Hidan's legs wrap around his waist, Hidan's never been very good at patience. Hidan presses hungry kisses against his lips, Kakuzu can't bother to hide the smirk as he pulls away to kiss down Hidan's chest, amused by the irritable whine it causes. His tongue sweeps under the hem of the pale man's pants, making him buck his hips impatiently. He takes his time, though, slowly peeling off the fabric and tossing it off the bed.

Hidan sits up to kiss him, moving onto his lap and grinding his hips down. He grunts, hands gripping Hidan's thighs tightly and pulling him closer. "Who needs to slow down, Kakuzu?" He strokes his fingertips along Hidan's inner thighs, just narrowly avoiding the growing bulge in his boxers, satisfied at the sound of Hidan choking on air.

"Still you," he murmurs, pushing Hidan on his back and tugging the last piece of fabric off his body. He lowers his head, nipping at Hidan's inner thighs teasingly. Hearing a choked sob of frustration, his smirk grows and he sucks harshly at the skin in his mouth, leaving a dark mark. He trails slowly down Hidan's leg, ignoring the loud pleading for him to _just touch there_.

Hidan catches his eyes when he reaches the zealot's knee, running his tongue across the back and causing Hidan's body to jolt. His leg hooks around Kakuzu's neck and his eyes are desperate, Kakuzu almost feels bad for him. "Fuck, Kakuzu, please~?" He decides to give him what he wants, taking him in his mouth and enjoying the pleasured moans that have Hidan writhing on the bed beneath him.

He takes care to prepare Hidan, although he knows the zealot has no problems with the pain of being taken dry. It's worth it to watch Hidan desperately try to push his hips down on his fingers and up into his mouth at once. "Fuck, right there! Yesss~! Dammit, Kakuzu~!" He knows Hidan's not the type to lose himself in pleasure, though, as soon as he pulls away Hidan find his place on Kakuzu's lap again.

He tugs down Kakuzu's pants and boxers as far as he can in his position, taking no time to lower himself onto Kakuzu and wrap his arms around the tall man's neck. He pants loudly as Kakuzu's hands find his hips, lifting him and starting a slow pace. His thrusts are slow and deep, Hidan's toes curl as his lover strikes his prostate.

He bites down on Kakuzu's shoulder, not hard enough to draw blood. A few threads seep out of one of his seems, he can hardly focus on their movements as sparks shoot across his vision. He's fairly certain they've woken up anyone that was still asleep, but he can't be bothered to care. Kakuzu is holding him so tightly and hitting that spot, the rest of the world can fall to pieces for all he cares.

His mind is hazy, the rising pleasure is his entire world right now. He doesn't quite comprehend that Kakuzu is moving until his nipple is bit harshly. The pain sends him over the edge, muffling his screech into Kakuzu's shoulder. Kakuzu is silent except for a soft growl, and then he's holding himself above Hidan's spent body with an affectionate smirk. "Patience feels good once in awhile, hm?"

He doesn't open his eyes, turning onto his side and resting his head on his pillow. "Maybe. But you're just enjoying that it means you can fuckin' tease me." He smiles softly when Kakuzu lays down behind him, pressing back against him. He yawns as Kakuzu kisses his jaw softly, he's about ready to take a nap for a few more hours. It's not often they have a day off, after all.

He snickers when Kakuzu agrees, turning his head to kiss the other man. Kakuzu's arms wrap around him and he sighs, smiling as he falls asleep.


	2. A Discussion of Masks

Every once in a long while, everyone had the miserable luck of having positively nothing to do on exactly the same day. These days were awful because Deidara made him spend time with the others who had the tendency to bottom for their partners.

He wasn't sure why they did this, none of them particularly got along. Deidara would tear Itachi's throat out as soon as look at him, and he certainly wasn't Tobi's biggest fan. Itachi had an odd attachment to the masked boy, but Hidan didn't like him either. Konan didn't seem to like any of them. It was absolutely pointless, but it happened every time.

Maybe just because they liked to talk about their partners to other people. It made no sense to him, Kakuzu was a boring old fuck. But Deidara could coo for hours over his beloved Sasori no Danna, and Konan would have an embarrassed smile on her face as she told them about something particularly sweet Leader had done. Tobi was a moron, but he would chirp happily about an expedition to the gardens while Itachi stoically spoke about Kisame's doting habits.

Still, it made no sense why he was coerced into coming along. He didn't like to talk about Kakuzu, he hated Kakuzu. Sure, he also loved the old bastard, but that didn't mean he was happy about it. He was pretty sure the rest of them knew this, but if he didn't come the rest of them would show up at his door and have their party in his room. Kakuzu had given him a look that said something about being denied sex and he never missed a get together again.

There was no way he was going to risk that, even though he was pretty sure there was no way Kakuzu could keep away from him for long. He had all but said it himself the next time. "...Hidan, how can you stand those masks of his?" And now Konan was talking to him, pressing buttons the others knew not to push. He blinked slowly, lifting his head off his hand. Deidara had frozen, Itachi's eyes were a fraction wider than usual, even Tobi was absolutely silent.

Kakuzu was a very sensitive subject. He would bitch about him constantly, but the second someone else was talking he would jump down their throats. He would brag about something Kakuzu had done or said to him, but the second someone else claimed to envy him he would tear them apart. Deidara had told him as much. "Hm? They're who he fucking is. Kakuzu wouldn't fucking be Kakuzu without the damn masks."

She grimaced, turning her head to the side. Another kind of mask, then? "Not the one he wears, or the one he puts up. I'm talking about the ones on his back. You don't mind his stitches, we've gathered they're a turn on, but those things are alive and they're always with you. How can you stand them?" Ah, so she was the one who didn't get it. He really was getting annoyed at all the people who tried to understand how they worked.

He 'tch'd softly, laying his head back on his hand and letting his eyes drift away. He knew it was an insult to her, she was the one he'd picked it up from, but it was the kind of disrespect she would be considered unreasonable for getting worked up over. She was surrounded by men who would voice their insults, after all.

He rather enjoyed the irritated look that crossed her face. "Those are the ones I was fucking talking about, bitch. They keep him fucking _alive_ , which is how I want him. He fucking uses them to protect me, which is a hell of a lot sweeter than anything your fucking redheaded cunt of a boyfriend does for you. And fuck, do those things make his skin sensitive. They're fucking constantly healing, it's fucking brutal when those things tear out of his fucking back. With just a few touches, I can get him to fuck me into unconsciousness, no matter how busy he is. _That_ is how I can fucking stand them."

He said it all with a rather bored voice, it wouldn't do for them to think he cared. He was already pushing it by delivering a speech. "Glad to hear it," Kakuzu rumbled as he walked down the hallway and Hidan's face turns bright red. Even if the others don't understand everything that he meant, the old fuck does. He was furious and humiliated, he didn't intend to give that bastard any compliments, but at the same time happy and _just a little bit_ relieved that he doesn't have to work up the courage to say it directly to the old man's face.


	3. Tease

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A/N: No, I don't think Kakuzu has a piercing fetish or that Hidan has a praise kink. I just really, really wanted to have Hidan taunting Kakuzu./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I'm not sure how the conversation starts. All I remember is Deidara's defensive shouting while Hidan cackles and all I care about is that Hidan isn't pestering me, for once. Of course, that ends as soon as Deidara comes charging into the living room, interrupting everyone since it's first thing in the morning and everyone gathers for a few hours to get non-murderous interaction./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Deidara slams his hand on the wall, looking panicked and furious at the same time. "Tell Hidan everyone has kinks, hm!" The room is drenched in mystified silence. I notice Hidan smirking over his shoulder and I have the urge to hit him. Who knows how long it'll take for Sasori to get Deidara calmed down?/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Kisame raises an eyebrow, focusing on combing his nails through Itachi's hair. "Is this about Sasori's lace kink?" Deidara flushes bright red, Kisame's right on the mark. Kisame glances up at him when he doesn't get a response, then rolls his eyes. "Honestly, we've seen the outfits. If we cared, we would've brought it up ages ago." Deidara just grows brighter red and Sasori has seemingly disappeared. With his height, I'm fairly certain he's just standing behind the couch./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Konan glances at Deidara, crossing her arms and nodding. "We also haven't complained about how you emreally/em like thunderstorms.." She sneaks a look at Kisame, and I'm pretty sure she's smirking. "Or the abundance of kimonos in Kisame's room." This definitely gains his attention. His head snaps up, and I notice Pein inching his way out of the room. He knows his sex life will be next./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Deidara's the one who beats him to the punch, however. "At least none of us have a piercing fetish..." I glare at Hidan, his smirk is more telling than I'd like. "I mean... you're fucking a human pincushion, un!" Hidan, still in the hallway, sticks his tongue out partway, displaying the stud left in from a few weeks ago. My glare hardens./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Konan snorts, turning her head away dismissively. "Not at all. I've got a thing for his hands, he's very good with them." She glances at where he was standing, smirking when she realizes he's gone. "And he's got a bit of a god complex, so I'm sure his dominance kink is no surprise." Hidan's smirk grows, pulling down the hem of his pants to display a bar piercing through his hip./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Konan carries on, unaware of anything else going on. "And I think it's pretty obvious Itachi's got an animal kink." Itachi's eyes widen, and I half expect him to activate the Sharingan. He doesn't, although I hear something along the lines of 'told you to be quieter'. But then Konan turns her attention on me, just as Hidan's pulled out the piercing gun and waves it around./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""So Kakuzu," she starts, "I'm sure you and Hidan have all kinds of crazy sadomasochistic sex, hm?" Hidan and I lock eyes for a moment, and I can tell by his expression that he's remembering last night as well. I can almost see soft touches, sweet kisses, and murmured praises reflected back in his eyes./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I'm glad I'm wearing my mask, because I'm sure I'm as pale as I can get at the moment. Hidan almost drops the piercing gun, I can see the panic in his eyes as he does his best not to let it hit the floor. "Yup. Lots of sadomasochistic sex. Our sheets are red because of his blood, not because we like the color." And they don't question it, because it's what they expect to hear. I figure they can live without the knowledge that emI/em have a piercings kink and Hidan has a praise kink. Because really, how would they handle knowing that we aren't really into the sadomasochistic sex unless we're angry?/p 


	4. Watch What You Say

Days off are not fun. He doesn't get to go anywhere or fight anyone. He's been forbidden to make his art inside the base. Worst of all, Sasori never wants to pay attention to him. The only good part of these days are pissing off the Zombie Brothers. Actually, even if he didn't have the day off it would be the best part of the day.

He smirks as he sneaks out of the shared bedroom, knowing Hidan and Kakuzu will definitely want to come into their room at some point. Deidara fully intends to be present for that. His eyes flash with amusement at the shouted 'What the fuck, Kakuzu?!' and he counts to twelve before walking around the corner to see what's going on.

Kakuzu looks unamused as ever, but Hidan seems to be freaking out. "Hidan, Zetsu is going to kill you." Deidara peeks into the bedroom from behind them, faced with his handywork. He hadn't thought about Zetsu, but no doubt the plant man will be pissed when he figures out what happened to his roses. Oh well, too late now. Hidan's immortal anyways.

"It wasn't me, Bastard! Why the fuck would I go to all this effort for _you_ anyways?!" Kakuzu just looks at him with that blank expression, but Hidan just seems to get even more heated up. "Fucker, I said it wasn't me! Whatever, suck my fuckin' cock, Kakuzu!" Kakuzu's expression doesn't change, but Hidan goes quiet for a moment, looking almost nervous. "No, I didn't-! Shut up, Kakuzu!" Oh. _Oh_.

Hidan storms into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him and ranting all the while. He's pretty sure his mouth has dropped open, gaping at the closed door. Kakuzu's head turns, and his heart drops with the smirk that covers the older man's face. The old man doesn't say anything, just enters the room behind his younger partner, but the look on the old man's face as the door shuts almost makes him understand why Hidan wants the man. Ew.


	5. A Lack of Sleep

It goes silent for a moment when Sasori's door slams open. Of course, in the next second Hidan's screams fill the base again. He makes his way down to the living room, unsurprised by the large gathering of people already there. He carries a few pieces of wood to carve with him, if he doesn't have something to do he'll go insane. His spot is beside Deidara, who's already sitting on the couch and kneading some clay like it personally offended him.

Itachi sits on the other couch, sipping tea with an aggressiveness Sasori is pretty sure it doesn't deserve. Kisame sits beside him half asleep, polishing a kunai as though his life depended on it. Although, Sasori reflects, Kisame's sanity probably does. A particularly loud screech makes his hand tighten, snapping the kunai in half. With a growl, he tosses it over his shoulder onto the slowly growing pile, pulling out another one as he glances up at Sasori. "You lasted awhile."

He groans softly. His room is right next to the Zombie Brothers', he had waited, hoped for over two hours before eventually admitting defeat and heading to the living room. "Never again." He flops down in an exaggerated movement, although his body is too light to do the show justice. Konan glances up at him from her armchair, where she's working seven pieces of paper into different shapes.

 _Something_ hits the wall hard enough to send dust down from the ceiling, he doesn't want to know what's happening in there. Deidara snarls, throwing his wad of clay at the wall to land with a sickening splat. "Isn't there anything we can do, un?!" He looks around at the others, eyes wild. "Can we at least go to a hotel?!"

Itachi jerks his head, hands shaking with irritation. Sasori thinks he ought to calm down, but he wouldn't dare say it. Who knows if Itachi's Genjutsu will work on him? "Can't. Kakuzu will skin us if we pay for a hotel." Deidara glances at the clay on the wall longingly, as though he really wants to blow it up. "And he'll kill you if you destroy the wall."

Deidara sets of on a string of swears he's sure the brat picked up from Hidan, some of them are a bit too creative even for him. Sighing, Sasori grabs the bowl he had planned on using for wood shavings, tossing in a few yen and passing it around. "Gag money. Put some in and maybe you can sleep." It'd be brilliant to get some work done without Hidan's shouting all the time.

Konan tosses a few notes in, looking up at him while her papers spin agitatedly. "Would they even use them, though?" It's a good question, Sasori's not entirely sure what they're into. And he certainly doesn't want to go in and see.

"Yes," drawls Deidara, tossing in what looks to be the entire content of his wallet. Of course Deidara would know, he and Hidan are close. He doesn't ask how it came up in conversation, though, there are some things he doesn't even want to know about his partner.

Kisame glances at the brat with a raised eyebrow, before looking back down at his kunai. Kakuzu won't be able to get mad at them for the gags, they're using their own money and Kakuzu has never been one to turn away a gift. Free is free, he'd say. Besides, he's certain he's heard Kakuzu growl something about Hidan needing to shut up.

It's actually worth knowing what their kinks are to be able to get work done. After all, it's three in the morning and they haven't shown any signs of stopping. Pain walks into the room, eyes dull as though he's been fighting for days. "If any one ever gives them a reason to prove _anything_ , I _will_ kill you." That's great, Sasori thinks, except that Hidan is the only one that insults the old man's stamina anyways.


End file.
